Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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