I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
