Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
