do herpes really smell.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
