I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
