I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
