Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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