Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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