If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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