WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize
