Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
