so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
