You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
