that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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