And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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