I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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