so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have post one night stand depression
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