Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
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