remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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