if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
