Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize