i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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