If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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