We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
