well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
