My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just found puke in my bra..
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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