if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize