I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
