Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
