I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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