Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
