he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sorry my hands just texted you
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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