ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
