we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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