This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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