If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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