Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
