After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize