he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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