I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I have fence marks all over my body
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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