Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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