Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
