that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
