Just cropdusted the office
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i drank out of a bidet.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
