Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
