So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just blew my weed a kiss
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
