please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
