I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
