This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
