I love black thongs
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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