I can't watch pbs sober anymore
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
