I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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