I need help removing her.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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