three words: i give head
three words: not that well
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
