This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
