Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
im drinking this country out of the recession.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
