Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
