Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You pole danced in your parka.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize