I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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