Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
