Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
