My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
