Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Randomize
