No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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