Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
