also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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