Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
